Last year I had a difficult time deciding if we should send you to kindergarten. You are young for your age, and can be pretty emotional at times. I knew you would be fine academically, but I was worried because you are so tender-hearted.
This past winter, you were difficult. I was at a loss knowing how to help you. I checked in with your teacher to make sure you were acting okay in class, where she shared a few instances where you cried silent tears, but reassured me you were one of the friendliest kids in the class, and doing just fine. (Looks like you inherited my love for talking :), I was adamant to help you become less emotional, and a little more tough.
After trying different things, I finally fell to my knees and prayed for guidance, when the direct thought came to mind, “Why are you trying to change his strength? Be patient, guide him in methods to handle his emotions, but don’t take his gift away.”
I sat there on my knees for a long time contemplating what I had just learned. Strength? Gift? Here I was with tunnel vision, failing to see what you’ve been blessed with. And as I sat there, and thought about who you were, it became so obvious. I instantly felt horrible for trying to change that about you.
How many other kids wake up early and want to help take care of their baby sister? Every single morning! You’re love for Oaklee is unreal and people have been commenting on it lately. You will literally drop anything to help her, and have created such a sweet connection between the two of you.
How many other kids come home upset, because a classmate was crying? After learning her mom had moved to a different house, you asked your dad if you could go to the store to buy her something to help her feel happy again.
How many other kids recognize within seconds when their mom and dad are struggling with grief. You came this way, and it’s truly a gift. You’ve always known that words aren’t always the most helpful during those hard moments, and usually respond with a big bear hug, letting us know you love us.
Ledger, I’m sorry I was slow to recognize your gift. To my surprise, as soon as I quit fighting you on it, you began to flourish. I know there will be times it will be difficult to control the many different emotions coursing through your little body, but I have no doubt if we keep at it, you’ll learn how to do it. I realize, that tender heart of yours, will help you accomplish big things in life. This world can always use a lot more love, and that’s exactly what you have to offer.
Love you buddy, thanks for being patient with me as I try my best to help you and your siblings navigate through this crazy world. You guys teach me far more than I will ever teach you, and for that, I am grateful.