When Linsey Jackson was only 25 years old, her father passed away from cancer. Due to personal reasons, her and her family moved in with her parents right as her father began treatment. Despite having to watch their grandpa go through cancer treatment, her family (and especially her children) brought a happiness to the home that he needed. He loved all 4 of his grandsons so much and seeing them always made his day!
Throughout his treatment for cancer, Linsey witnessed innumerable acts of service and love given to him and all of her family. She learned invaluable lessons about connecting with those you love and making the time you have with them count. Through listening to her father talk about his life experiences, she was able to connect with him like she never had before and had many sacred experiences with him. She said, “It’s so hard to find the blessings in the darkest parts of our life, but if we just look for them, they are there. You will see them! It’s not always easy, but if you can just be a good friend to those in pain, you will help lighten their load in ways you may not understand.”
We are so thankful that Linsey is willing to share with us her experience of how others supported her and her family while her father went through cancer treatment.
What were some things that people said that were helpful when your father was going through cancer treatment?
We received so many words of encouragement during my father's treatment. I remember a friend coming to me at one point and saying, "I know that you are just being strong for your family, but just know that I am always a phone call away when you need to talk for a minute." She smiled at me and walked away. I'll never forget that, because it showed me that others were paying attention to me. It felt great to know it was okay for me to have feelings about this experience too, even though I wasn't as vocal about it.
People generally have good intentions, but was there anything that people said that hurt?
I believe people have good intentions but sometimes I was shocked at things people would say. "Hopefully he doesn't have to suffer long, it was actually better when my parent passed away quickly," was the most hurtful one to hear; it felt like they were just giving up on my dad and it angered and hurt me! People would also ask if I thought my mother would get remarried. My dad was still alive when this question was asked! I'll never understand that one.
Are there any specific acts of service that were particularly helpful while your father underwent his cancer treatments?
Neighbors and friends would bring treats and meals, along with movies for him to watch and books for him to read. Family and friends would come over to just sit with him and keep him company. He loved it all so much. It was amazing to see the love and service from others towards my dad. I believe that helped his focus not be solely on his treatment and he was able to enjoy himself! We did have some who would come and leave a note or treat on our doorstep and that was perfect. We knew they were thinking of our family, but didn't have to stress over trying to accommodate so many visitors at once.
Were there any actions from others that were hurtful to you or your family?
I think one of the hardest things to handle, was having so many opinions from people we didn't really know, on different treatments he should be trying instead of what his doctor recommended. At some point my parents had to make the decision to just keep to their doctor’s instruction because the thought that they were missing another life-saving treatment was emotionally and physically draining, when, in reality, they were already doing the best and only option they could for him.
We thank Linsey again for her insight and helpful suggestions!
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