20 Weeks


It’s kind of hard to believe, but this babe and I have officially reached 20 weeks!


We are H A L F W A Y there!

This week I had my 20 week appointment and ultrasound. They said the baby looks perfect, which we are extremely grateful for! I had an early ultrasound to tell us the gender, and I’ve been soooo scared they were going to tell me we are actually having a boy! But after having the lady check about 5 times during the ultrasound yesterday, I was assured a little girl is on the way. Which makes me excited and nervous, all at the same time!

The last couple of months I have felt great! Hoping this continues to last through the summer.

Highlights at 20 Weeks

  • I’ve discovered t-shirt dresses. I have about three that I rotate through! I’m sure people think I don’t wash my clothes :)
  • Did I tell you I’m half way finished? Hallelujah!
  • Though I look much bigger, I’m measuring right on at 20 weeks. I just carry out and in front.
  • This pregnancy doesn’t even compare to carrying the twins! So much easier!
  • I’ve only had one kidney stone! Fingers crossed what I’m taking for them continues to help!
  • Cannon, our rough little guy is obsessed with kissing my belly and talking to the baby. He might be the most excited out of all the boys. They are all super cute about her.
  • Now feeling confident that we are having a girl, I can start cleaning out our boy things. Can’t believe this is our last one!
  • Next week we’re driving to ID, which means one thing! After craving a local Rexburg sandwich shop, I plan on eating there nearly every day. :) Millhallow here I come!
  • Our boys all call the baby different things:
    • Ledger – “BB-8, we can call her BB for short.”
    • Cannon – “Baby Night night”
    • Cruiz – “Chewbacca”
    • Mom & Dad – We need to start agreeing on some names. I think I plan on holding strong this time…



Three months after Preslee died, a deep dark hole seemed to engulf me. The darkness was consuming and terrifying. My head was suddenly filled with doubts, and I truly thought I could never be happy living without my daughter. My husband grieved so differently that I felt completely alone. The comments I had heard a million times over, "Oh, but she's in a better place," began taking a toll on my mind. I began thinking if she needed to go to a better place, I had most definitely failed as her mother... Once I let just a little doubt creep in, it consumed me and that deep dark hole seemed to grow deeper every single day.

Over time, and with a lot of hard work, I'm grateful that I eventually found my way out of that hole. It was a long and slow process and I give all credit to my Savior, who carried most of the load. The lessons I learned during that time changed my view on life, and more importantly, changed my relationship with our Savior, Jesus Christ.

I love this video for so many different reasons. What I wouldn't have given to hear this back then, nearly six years ago. I wanted to share for anyone experiencing the same thing as I did, my hope is to let  you know you don't have to do it alone.

“I suppose everybody will have some kind of an experience where they say, ‘I’m never going to be happy again....Well, we are going to be happy again. That is also a part of the plan. It’s the very nature of it. Hang on and hope. Never lose faith in your Father in heaven, who loves you more than you can comprehend. Never, ever doubt his love for you. Hold fast to the Atonement. Believe in miracles. When you’ve done all you can do, endure to the end. And remember, hope is never lost.”
-Elder Holland

We Can Do Hard Things: Devani Keyser- Death of a Parent


Meet Devani and her mom, Yvonne Kinghorn.

Devani’s mom was first diagnosed with cancer when Devani was only 4 years old. Then again, just five years later. Ten years went by and all was well until July of 2015, when Devani’s mom was diagnosed with cancer for the third time. At the age of 19, Devani was planning her wedding and simultaneosly learning how to deal with her mom’s cancer returning. Though her mom was doing well, she unexpectedly got a bacterial infection, and because of a low immune system due to chemotherapy, Devani’s mom passed away in November of 2015. Devani has learned just how important it is to make every day count, and to always tell your loved ones how much they mean to you.

Q: What are some helpful words that were said to you after losing your mom?
A: I ran into one of my mom’s really good friends and she told me how one day she and my mom were talking, and my mom was saying how proud she was of me for the young women that I had become. Hearing someone speak of the way my Mom loved and felt about me meant a lot, and it helped me feel close to my mom.

A really good family friend told me that my mom may have left her body, but that didn’t mean that she was ever going to leave me. Hearing those words really helped me feel peace. Knowing that even though I can’t see my mom she is still there, and that really helped me see the bigger picture.

Q: Are there any comments you have received that have been hurtful?
A: Something that people say quite often is after learning about my mom’s passing, “I’m sorry, but wasn’t she sick for a long time?” Even though she was sick didn’t necessarily mean we expected her to pass, and we had hope that she would make it through.

Q: Were there any acts of kindness that you appreciated?
A: Just service in general is helpful.
  • My brother’s fiancĂ© sent me a link about a family whose mother had recently passed from cancer, and how they learned from the experience. That article really helped me in gaining a new perspective on my mother’s passing, (Article posted below).
  • People sending sweet messages or words of encouragement really helped me.
  • A good friend gave me a quote that says “Because someone we love is in Heaven, we have a little bit of Heaven in our home.” This gift was so dear to me, not because of it monetary value, but because of the thoughtfulness behind it.
Gift Ideas:

  • Click {here} to read the article that gave Devani another perspective on death. (It’s a good one!)
  • Download one of these two adorable printables designed by Miss Audrey Sue! Her printables just keep on amazing us! They make a great gift printed and placed in a frame. Or sometimes print them off as a 5x7 and write on the back as a card, and then they can use the print in their home as well. 

A Full Heart


Thank you for all the love and excitement! We are thrilled to be adding another little girl into our family! It still seems almost too good to be true! I told Pat I wanted one more, because I really wanted to try for a girl. So after finding out I was pregnant, Pat lovingly suggested I plan on a boy, so I wouldn’t be devastated if we didn’t get a girl... Though I wouldn’t have been devastated, (Four boys would have been really fun!) I actually did plan on a boy. (We had a name and everything!) So being told we are having a girl made made for some really exciting news! 

This pregnancy has been similar to my others. I’ve craved cereal, milk, and sandwhiches. I’m now just getting over the nausea that began at week six. I’m really trying to appreciate everything, where this will be my last pregnancy. And let me just tell you, a single pregnancy is nothing compared to twins!

Shortly after finding out I was expecting, I asked Patrick for a priesthood blessing. After moving to UT, my asthma flared up, (Dang smog!)  which has caused my body to really struggle. With a few symptoms still present, I was a little worried how my body would handle being pregnant.

Pat agreed and gave me a blessing. Towards the end, he paused and became emotional. And so did I, after I heard what was said. I was blessed that the veil might be thin during this pregnancy, because Preslee hopes to be included in the welcoming of this baby into our family.

Pat was just as surprised as I was, and since then, I’ve thought a lot about that comment. I think sometimes I forget how wondrous the plan of salvation truly is. This upcoming July will mark six years since Preslee’s death, and during that time, I’ve learned a great deal about faith. We are taught individuals who pass on are happy and well taken care of, and I fully believe that. But something I haven’t thought much about is that she still has wants and needs. Those wants and needs might be different than what they would have been if she had never passed away, but what a sweet reminder for us as her parents that she is forever part of our family and is never truly far away.
I’m grateful that families really are eternal. That Patrick and I have been blessed with experiences that enable us to know that life does continue after death. And with those experiences, and what we have studied, I’m grateful we have learned for ourselves that the gospel of Jesus Christ is true.

I can’t help but want to savor every moment over the next few months. Knowing I’m carrying our last, and that our oldest is close by, Pat and I really do have our entire family together. It might be in a different way than we planned, but let me tell you, my heart has truly never been so full.

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Love you Monkey.

Arriving November 2016


Can you believe it?
Baby # 5 is a GIRL!

It is a girl
And we’re celebrating all in pink :)

My heart feels like it might explode, sometimes it feels like raising Preslee was a dream, we’ve grown so accustomed to everything boy, we really can’t wait to dive back into life with a girl again.

Needless to say, we’re thrilled.
The months of nausea were, (and still are) well worth it.
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