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Home Ashley Cannon Cruiz grief Ledger Patrick Preslee Utah Baby it’s Cold Outside

Baby it’s Cold Outside

Dear Boys,

On Tuesday, our world was turned white here in UT. Big white snowflakes fell from the gray foggy sky and left us with a surprising amount of snow. It made for an extremely exciting day as I sat on the couch curled up in a blanket and watched all three of you stand in front of a window. You oohed and aahed over the snowflakes that fell on top of the mountains.

I’ll admit I killed the moment when I was forced to explain to Ledger that no, Santa wasn’t coming that night :)

SLC, UT

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After lunch, Ledger begged to go outside, and Cannon and Cruiz, the two of you followed. So we grabbed what little snow gear we could find, (most of it was packed away in boxes) and headed out into the cold.

Ledger made snow angels and threw snowballs at the fence.

Cruiz spent most of the afternoon looking out the window at his brothers from inside the house.

And Cannon
…the kid who refuses to wear pants, went outside in shorts after we fought about it for way too long :) Your sock obsession came in handy as we only had one pair of gloves, and you ended the day with three pairs of socks on your feet, and two on your hands. (The socks on the hands is a daily occurrence in our house)

grief blog child death  Child death  Grief Blog

There’s something incredibly magical about watching your children experience your own favorite memories. I instantly realized Cannon and Cruiz didn’t remember the snow, so I couldn’t help but smile as I watched the two of you discover it all over again. And Cannon’s grin after tasting it was adorable.

When your dad came home, all three of you couldn’t wait to show him the white blanket that covered our back lawn, thinking the snow had only fell in our backyard.

SLC, UT 
I became overwhelmed with gratitude while the three of you played that day. I strongly remember taking your sister outside the first day it snowed when she was a year old, after we both watched the snow in silence, she grabbed my face, and said, “Momma.” I also remember the next winter when she was gone and there was nobody there to call me, “Momma.” The silence was deafening. Last Tuesday was one of those moments when I had to pinch myself to make sure this was really my life, because I remember a time when I thought happiness would never fully return. But this week I was proved wrong, because I was left with more happiness than I knew what to do with every time I heard one of you call out, “Momma.”

God is good, please never forget that.
I love each and every one of you.

Love,
Momma

P.S. Buying snow clothes is officially the next thing on my to-do list.

// Labels: Ashley, Cannon, Cruiz, grief, Ledger, Patrick, Preslee, Utah
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2 comments:

  1. TrishNovember 12, 2015 at 2:39 AM

    What a beautiful post!

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  2. The HebbsNovember 13, 2015 at 3:14 PM

    Adorable pictures of your sweet boys...I know you miss Preslee...darn. Wish she could play with them....Looks like a lot of snow. Where are you living in Utah now? We just moved from Utah...darn.
    How are your pictures such great quality? Do you use a camera or your phone? Enjoy your precious boys...sending lots of love! I guess you can write me back on facebook or instagram....
    Tiffany

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Hi, we're the Sullengers! Life turned upside down for us in 2010 when we lost our daughter in an accidental drowning. Since then, we've documented our highs (life with all five of our kids) and our lows (struggles with grief) but amongst everthing we've experienced, we know as long as we hold on to one another we can get through anything that comes our way. Read More. . .

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