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Home grief Preslee Perfection

Perfection




I love your...
teeth
toes
blue eyes
cheeks
pigtails
perfect little hands
my friend Abbie's necklace you eyed at lunch 
the play necklace from Grandma's house, that you insisted on wearing home


I love everything about this picture. 
And I absolutely love and adore everything about you.

Oh, how the rest of my life often seems like forever. 

I love you Monkey,
so much that it hurts.
// Labels: grief, Preslee
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32 comments:

  1. AnonymousMarch 20, 2012 at 10:28 AM

    I can't imagine...
    you are an inspiration to me and have made me see my role as a mother in a new light.
    thank goodness for eternal families!!

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  2. KerriMarch 20, 2012 at 10:31 AM

    She is so adorable! It's such a blessing to know that families are forever.

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  3. ~RachelMarch 20, 2012 at 10:48 AM

    You have made me cry! A week ago today, our 3 year old daughter went into the pool while my back was turned. I don't know how long, as I was packing up our things to leave. All of a sudden her older brother said "Mommy, quick, Lily's in the pool." I jumped into save her as she was fully submerged.
    My heart absolutely stopped. She was sent to the ER where she was fine, with the exception of a giant air bubble. It just happened so fast.
    I have been reliving this each and every day. I can't imagine your pain and I pray for you all each day...now more than ever.
    I pray that God gives you peace beyond understanding in times of grief.
    You are such an inspiration.

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  4. AmandaMarch 20, 2012 at 10:49 AM

    She is perfect. I can't imagine how you ache for her.

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  5. JulietteMarch 20, 2012 at 10:53 AM

    She is just darling!

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  6. AmishkaMarch 20, 2012 at 10:57 AM

    Love ya!

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  7. m&msmommyMarch 20, 2012 at 10:59 AM

    She is absolutely beautiful..soooo sweet! I can't imagine how much your heart aches for her each and every day. I look at that picture and think of my own little...I am SO sorry for your loss, so truly sorry!

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  8. Laurin ClackumMarch 20, 2012 at 11:03 AM

    Such a perfect and sweet little girl. Praying that sweet memories flood your mind today!

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  9. NatalieMarch 20, 2012 at 11:23 AM

    Oh Ashley,
    Preslee is a perfect little Angel! I can't imagine what your going through but my heart aches for you always. I often catch myself think of you and your strength and of Preslee.
    She truly is PERFECT!
    xoxo
    -Natalie Green

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  10. AnonymousMarch 20, 2012 at 11:46 AM

    you have a perfect daughter! my heart hurts for you. i adore my daughter more and more everytime you put me back into perspective so easily! have a great day with ledger! hes a lucky boy!

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  11. Preston and KeriMarch 20, 2012 at 11:48 AM

    There is no better word to describe her than "perfect".
    She is so beautiful and so so special!
    My heart aches for you! I can't even imagine losing a child. You are so strong and such an amazing example to so many people!
    I know your sweet little Preslee is watching over you and she is SO proud of you!
    Thanks for all your wonderful posts!

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  12. The SullengersMarch 20, 2012 at 1:02 PM

    :( Life does seem like forever, especially when dealing with something like this! Hopefully you can stay focused on each day rather than the big picture, cause sometimes that seems so overwhelming :) We love you and she is so perfect!

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  13. MeaganMarch 20, 2012 at 1:16 PM

    She is beautiful. My heart breaks for you, Ashley. When I am gone for a day I can't wait to get back to my babies. I can't imagine having to wait a lifetime. Thanks for your amazing example. I have learned so much from you. Families are forever. I don't think it gets sweeter than that. :)

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  14. GwenMarch 20, 2012 at 2:11 PM

    The Lord takes many away even in infancy that they may escape the envy of man. The sorrows & evils of this present world & they were too pure & too lovely to live on Earth - J.S.

    I know you've heard this quote before. It is true. Our daughters are perfect and we will have them again one day.

    Yes, it does seem like forever sometimes.

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  15. summergibbsMarch 20, 2012 at 3:14 PM

    I can't even imagine what you and Pat are going through and when I read your blog I wish more than anything that I could change your circumstances. I know that's not part of "your plan", but it makes my heart hurt for you. Thank you for writing so open and honestly....because of you I try harder to find the beauty in every single day and to not take my children for granted. Preslee is such a beautiful girl and she is lucky to have parents like you and Pat.

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  16. Heather and SpencerMarch 20, 2012 at 3:21 PM

    Oh my goodness, she is quite possibly one of the cutest girls ever!!! I still think of and pray for your family often! Since I began reading your blog (right after Preslee's accident), I definitely think of my time with my kids differently. Instead of dreading waking up in the middle of the night, like I did with my son, I now choose to sit and rock my daughter a little longer and enjoy that quiet time that we get to have together. I continue to be very grateful for your example and how open you are with your experiences. Thank you!
    -Heather (found your blog through Chelsea Beckstrand)

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  17. Emily Heizer PhotographyMarch 20, 2012 at 3:31 PM

    She looks so CUTE and HAPPY and BEAUTIFUL! I just want to squeeze her toes and kiss her cheeks!!! Our beautiful baby! Oh, Presless we all love you but your Mom & Dad love you the mosttest!!! You are such a sweet, beautiful little girl! I know you are doing BIG THINGS with Heavenly Father and having so much fun!

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  18. Auntie EMMarch 20, 2012 at 4:06 PM

    Several commenters used the word "Perfect" to describe your little girl. Sometimes as humans, we can't comprehend what perfect is. But when I see that picture, I think of the word perfect - she was not tainted with the hardness of this life, not exposed to mean people ever, did not have to deal with terrible or difficult things.....she is perfect in every way. The waiting will be hard, harder than I can imagine but I get a feeling you will be valiant, strong, faithful throughout your life. You will accomplish much because of her. You have changed because of her. You will love harder, try harder, be the best you can be, for her. And then when your journey here on earth is done, too, then comes the "unspeakable joy" we have been promised. She will be waiting and is much nearer to you than you can imagine. My heart breaks for your loss. I am often amazed at your strength and trust in our Heavenly Father. Keep going girl and smile every day (in between tears if necessary) knowing you are the mother of a perfect angel. I know it does not change what happened but I hope it helps to know so many people care and pray for you and your husband often.

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  19. The Kusuda'sMarch 20, 2012 at 5:24 PM

    She is so so sweet. Thinking of you always..... We love you!

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  20. SamanthaMarch 20, 2012 at 6:48 PM

    I still cannot imagine what you go through daily. You are an amazing example of strength, and I hope that you know your courage reaches so many people!

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  21. UnknownMarch 20, 2012 at 9:09 PM

    oh my heart just breaks for you. how do you lose something so precious and perfect and continue on? i don't think i could deal with it with the grace and dignity that you have shown. you are a very special person.

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  22. ZoeyMarch 21, 2012 at 7:14 AM

    Oh, I just love her picture! Beautiful!

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  23. AnonymousMarch 21, 2012 at 8:38 AM

    oh my goodness she is beautiful!! So very perfect. My heart aches so bad for you. I cant even fathom the pain. I am so sorry. Ledger looks a lot like his big sister. so sweet.

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  24. AlishaMarch 21, 2012 at 9:45 AM

    That is such a sweet picture! I don't remember seeing it before. I've been thinking about her a lot lately, and missing her. My thoughts are with you. Love you guys.

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  25. Aaron & MichelleMarch 21, 2012 at 12:40 PM

    You are truly an inspiration to so many.

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  26. JannetMarch 21, 2012 at 3:10 PM

    I've been following your story for so long, from the first unbelievable shock of it all through your incredible regrouping of strength and courage and carrying on. You guys are truly amazing! When I'm in need of a lift and a bit of inspiration I always come here! Isn't that just sort of ironic in a way? Anyway, it was so wonderful to see that beautiful little Preslee again today!

    And what a blessing and comfort it must be to know that she's really not that far away.

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  27. the VirginsMarch 21, 2012 at 4:42 PM

    My heart aches for you when reading this. You are so strong and such an inspiration. I love that picture of Pres, she is just perfect!! We are always thinking of you guys. Love ya!

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  28. Michelle ArnettMarch 22, 2012 at 10:33 AM

    Oh sweetheart. Sweetheart. How you said, "How my life sometimes feels like forever" struck a chord with me. Bless your heart. Just be patient. I remember the days I would pray for cancer or to just have my life taken. . . or telling my grandmother I was jealous of her as she was passing away....Hang in there. She is beautiful. You are beautiful and she will live through you as you share her with us through what you have learned. Tight air hugs from Utah....XOXOXOXO

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  29. Bryce and Candice Blood FamilyMarch 22, 2012 at 1:55 PM

    i really can't say anything that will add to this adorable picture and reminising of your angel but when i pulled up your blog i was struck. i've looked at this post three times now. today a different song came up when i checked to see if you had updated. and it struck me. i just really like you. you are so real. and just as sweet as your adorable monkey. she is so lucky to have you as her mom.

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  30. Jase, Tayler and KendylMarch 23, 2012 at 11:56 AM

    She is seriously Beautiful! Reminds me so much of my kendyl buggy.

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  31. AliMarch 26, 2012 at 10:49 AM

    This is the most beautiful post I have ever read. Thank you for reminding me to say similar "I love your..." to my amazing son. I'll do it each and every day.

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  32. AnonymousMarch 27, 2012 at 6:58 PM

    She is so so sweet. What a precious girl. I think about your family all of the time. My heart often breaks for you, but I find great comfort in the fact that YOU find comfort in God--the only One who can truly get you through. Prayers!

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Hi, we're the Sullengers! Life turned upside down for us in 2010 when we lost our daughter in an accidental drowning. Since then, we've documented our highs (life with all five of our kids) and our lows (struggles with grief) but amongst everthing we've experienced, we know as long as we hold on to one another we can get through anything that comes our way. Read More. . .

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