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Home grief Preslee It's ordered... finally

It's ordered... finally

I've been busy with two tasks the past couple of weeks. Decorating a room for one child, and planning a headstone for another.

Pat and I attempted to order a headstone last fall. We really wanted white and at the time our only option was Marble. Marble doesn't last as long as granite. The lady said not to worry because we'd be long gone before we saw any weathering take place. We asked her when that was, she said the earliest signs begin to show about 50 years down the road... That really bugged us, because there's a good chance we'll still be around in 50 years. So for months we stewed over the information.

We were about to settle with a light pinkish salmon color when I received an e-mail from my friend Jenny, a young mom who lost her husband shortly after we lost Preslee. While she was designing her husbands headstone, she noticed the company she was working with (American Monument) had white granite! I immediately called the company and got to work. Within a week our headstone was ordered!

Designing a headstone was an interesting experience. It really is the last thing we'll purchase for Preslee. I'm grateful that Pat and I were on the same page the entire time. I can't imagine fighting or disagreeing over something so personal. It's also weird to be in our early twenties and know exactly where we'll be buried and what we want our own headstone to look like.

Here's a rough sketch.

The center circle will be replaced with a sketch of Preslee and the Savior that Pat's companion's brother from the mission drew for us.

On the back under our names, will be a little monkey.



It was interesting how I felt a big weight taken off of my shoulders as soon as we finalized the headstone. I hadn't realized it was stressing me out. I'm sure once it's set in the cemetery it will help even more.

Thank you to those who helped pay for the headstone. It's such a blessing to be able to afford exactly what we want. We love you!
// Labels: grief, Preslee
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36 comments:

  1. The Secrest FamilyMarch 13, 2011 at 10:21 PM

    Oh ash, what a beautiful headstone that will be. And what a wonderful blessing your sweet little boy is, he'll be here so soon! We love you. : ) love Chrissy Hill Secrest

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  2. L!$@March 13, 2011 at 10:47 PM

    It'll be beautiful. So glad you are getting what you both want :D

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  3. TracieMarch 13, 2011 at 10:51 PM

    Yes, it will be beautiful and will communicate well your eternal family and love in both the design and the material. May God continue to bless you in all things.

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  4. Tiffany Mock-CookMarch 14, 2011 at 12:36 AM

    You both are amazing and a true inspiration to me and my family. Your baby girl will never be forgotten Ashley and Pat, I know she is on the other side getting very excited for her little brother to meet their parents. Congrats to you both and may you feel the love and prayers of those around you.

    Tiffany Cook

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  5. Emily Heizer PhotographyMarch 14, 2011 at 1:05 AM

    I'm so relieved that you are relieved to have this last gift for Preslee finally designed and on it's road to completion!

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  6. lindseyMarch 14, 2011 at 1:53 AM

    I'm glad yall found exactly what yall wanted! It will be gorgeous just like her!

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  7. christaMarch 14, 2011 at 3:02 AM

    Thank you, Thank you. After 14 days in the Nicu someone told me about your blog. I have been reading it. Last week my son got RSV and we went to the ER at primarys. 11 days later and we are still here. I can't seem to be thinking of your family. I'm complaining that we have been here so long but you didn't get to leave with her. Your story helps me so much and I am now paying it forward by making 60 Nicu parent survival kits. I CAN DO HARD THING. With love, Christa

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  8. Annaliese & TJMarch 14, 2011 at 8:08 AM

    it's beautiful! That picture you are putting there amazing too!

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  9. Ashley ZieglerMarch 14, 2011 at 8:43 AM

    It's beautiful!! I absolutely love it!

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  10. AmishkaMarch 14, 2011 at 8:55 AM

    Ashley I love the design. One thing this winter I didn't like about Gabie's is that the snow covered it up when the headstones that sit upright don't get as covered. I love the circle design. It's beaufiful I can't wait to see the final stone all mounted and pretty. I know the relief that comes with that final gift we buy for our babies, it's such a good feeling to know that monument will always mark their resting place and that it's just want we wanted.
    Have a good week!
    Love Amy

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  11. The SullengersMarch 14, 2011 at 9:11 AM

    I'm glad you got what you were wanting with Preslee's headstone - it's going to be beautiful, just like her! When we are up next, I hope to stop by and see it! Love you guys!

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  12. AlishaMarch 14, 2011 at 9:59 AM

    How awesome that they have white granite!! I love the sketch, it will be beautiful, and perfect for Pres.

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  13. Trisha LarsonMarch 14, 2011 at 10:48 AM

    We JUST ordered Nate's last week. It took us 3 years! My husband and I tried so many times but we just couldn't bring ourselves to do it. But you are right. It is a huge weight lifted off our shoulders and it should be installed before his "heaven day" on March 30th.

    Hugs,
    Trisha

    ps- we chose blue granite!

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  14. Ryan.Kendra.Makenzie.TrackerMarch 14, 2011 at 11:22 AM

    so so beautiful! You did a wonderful job. I hate looking back and thinking we should have thought about things a bit more. I was so adimate about doing everything right now! It would have been nice to let things sink in first before we made all these huge decisions. I think you did a great job. A great thing! I love that. I love the white granite to... That will be beautiful. I cant wait to see it done. Pres im sure is so proud of it as well. Love you Ash.

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  15. NatalieMarch 14, 2011 at 11:48 AM

    It's beautiful!!

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  16. AnonymousMarch 14, 2011 at 11:52 AM

    I think you two are amazing in every way. I'm so happy that you found what you were wanting for her. I love that you've brought out her personality in it. Thank you for sharing your daughter and all these amazing moments with us.
    Love ya!

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  17. DebbieMarch 14, 2011 at 1:53 PM

    It will be beautiful! Thank you for sharing that on your blog.

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  18. AnonymousMarch 14, 2011 at 2:11 PM

    Beautiful, just like your precious baby girl! I am so glad you were able to come up with a design you are happy with, it will be so special. Hugs.

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  19. BrianneMarch 14, 2011 at 2:21 PM

    Beautiful! You preslee & the headstone. Glad you both got what you wanted for your daughter

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  20. TiffanyMarch 14, 2011 at 3:33 PM

    It's beautiful, and I am so happy you were able to get exactly what you wanted. I can't imagine anything more perfect for such a special little girl :) I hope you are feeling okay, and that the kidney stone thing is calming down...those are miserable!!!

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  21. RosalieMarch 14, 2011 at 4:28 PM

    That will be wonderful to see! When do you anticipate it will be finished and be able to be placed? We will most likely head to Jackson again this summer and would LOVE to stop by and see it! You guys are amazing! Love you!

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  22. Chase & MeganMarch 14, 2011 at 5:19 PM

    That will be beautiful. Im glad that it is all starting to come together!
    You and Pat are amazing parents;)

    Chase And I leave for the summer in a couple weeks I would love to get together with you and the other girls and do lunch or something!
    Maybe ill give ya a call in the next couple weeks.
    Love ya megaz

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  23. Melissa FrenchMarch 14, 2011 at 8:57 PM

    It's going to be beautiful and will help all your future little babies to feel Preslee. I miss you and think about you all the time!

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  24. HarperMarch 14, 2011 at 9:02 PM

    This is beautiful, Ashley. Thank you for sharing this.

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  25. SuSuMarch 14, 2011 at 10:04 PM

    So beautiful. Breathtaking.

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  26. KassieMarch 14, 2011 at 11:32 PM

    I remember how hard it was to order Cole's headstone. Preslee's headstone is going to be beautiful just like her! I hope to go by and see it. Love you guys!

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  27. Miss CrysMarch 15, 2011 at 11:15 AM

    It is beautiful....the bedding and the headstone. The bedding reminds me of our little Shane. Steve bought him a blanket...that very green and brown with elephants on it the day he was born. It's beautiful. I can't wait to see the headstone.

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  28. ForKeeps PhotographyMarch 15, 2011 at 12:05 PM

    That is going to be beautiful! I don't know you, but I know the feeling. Designing my 23 yr old husbands headstone was heartbreaking. He was a dental student at OSU and for his headstone I got one shaped like a tooth. It is very unique and made me feel more closure knowing I got something that was designed just for him.

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  29. UnknownMarch 15, 2011 at 3:02 PM

    It will be beautiful- Congrats on Baby #2.

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  30. LinsyMarch 15, 2011 at 4:10 PM

    It's going to be beautiful! I love that you will have a little monkey on it and her pictured etched in. Also, I love the vases on the side. We are excited to see it! Love you guys!

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  31. the h fam.March 15, 2011 at 6:37 PM

    a white headstone will be perfect for your little angel! glad you found exactly what you were looking for!

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  32. HeidiMarch 16, 2011 at 7:06 PM

    It is absolutely BEAUTIFUL!!
    This is totally random and you have no idea who i am, but we've been following your blog ever since the accident. Back in November (the day after thanksgiving), we received horrible news from our best friends about an accident that there 2 yr old son had been in. It made me think of you guys and so I wanted to share their blog with you and hopefully you will look at it and offer some words of advice/comfort. It's been a rough road for them and will continue to be with the hope that their son can come out of it and return back to his happy normal self again!
    Their blog is zachandtessie.blogspot.com
    If you wouldn't mind sharing the site with family/friends so we can continue having people pray for them all over the world!!
    Thanks again for your wonderful examples.. your thoughts help make my testimony stronger!
    Heidi Gorder
    West Haven, Utah

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  33. Shane and McKenzeeMarch 17, 2011 at 6:25 AM

    You are such an amazing person. I feel inspired by you and I'm so grateful that I was introduced to your blog. Thanks for being so strong and having so much faith. I can't wait for your baby to arrive; you are clearly an amazing mother.

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  34. TifaniMarch 19, 2011 at 1:41 AM

    This is beautiful!!! You are still in our prayers and I want you to know what a wonderful person I think you are. This little boy and Preslee are so blessed to have you and pat as parents!!!!
    Much Love
    Tif

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  35. Ashley and EthanMarch 20, 2011 at 4:50 PM

    I never would have thought you were going to create something like this either Sidd. Along this whole journey of yours, it's really showing how much you've grown up.

    You've got your priorities straight and you know what's most important in life. I know you will be like a teeter-totter at times, experiencing your highs and lows, but all the while, you are an example to everyone.

    I can't thank you enough but your strength and testimony has strengthened me so much. You are incredible.

    The headstone is perfect for your little family. Together Forever :)

    Love you,

    Andy

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  36. ChynnaMarch 21, 2011 at 1:22 PM

    Ashley,
    I hope it doesn't creep you out that I am a follower and I don't even know you. A while back, I was taking an English class at BYU-I and my prof. pulled up your blog to show the class. After class I went back through and read every single post. I was so touched by your story...and I have grown so much respect and admiration for you and your husband. You guys are sooo strong! My aunt lost her son when he was 11 and he was like a little brother to me. I remember helping choose his headstone and all of the mixed feelings that came with it. You guys truly are an inspiration and example to us all. Thank you for your insights.
    Love,
    Chynna
    tychynhansen.blogspot.com

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Hi, we're the Sullengers! Life turned upside down for us in 2010 when we lost our daughter in an accidental drowning. Since then, we've documented our highs (life with all five of our kids) and our lows (struggles with grief) but amongst everthing we've experienced, we know as long as we hold on to one another we can get through anything that comes our way. Read More. . .

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