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Home grief Holidays Preslee Utah Seven

Seven

Today you turn seven.



Seven years old.
Every year, just for a brief moment, I let myself actually stop and consider what having a child your age would be like. And as the pain quickly creeps in, I change my thoughts, telling myself one day... we will find out.


If I'm being honest,
I've already cried all that I need to this week, so today I choose to
 celebrate.
We choose to celebrate you,
your life,
your legacy,
everything that you are.

Tonight you'll find us at City Creek Mall,
eating dinner,
letting the boys visit with Santa,
and touring Temple Square.

I feel there's nothing better we could do,
than teach our boys of the blessings that stem from the temple.

078grief

Oh sweet girl, we miss you.

For the past week Ledger has begged to buy you a doll. I asked him what we would do with it, where we would take it? His response was sweet, "Have the mail man take it to the cemetery, and when Preslee comes back to earth, she can play with it. Because mom, I just can't stop thinkin' about her!"


Please don't forget how much you are loved,
or adored by your dad and brothers.
I am pleasantly surprised at the connection your brothers have with you,
reminding me death isn't the end, and teaching me that you must come more than we know. Because they truly do love and know you.



 
Oh, we're one year closer!
And I'll continue to pray someone gives you a great big hug for me.
Happy Birthday, Preslee.


 We love you Monkey,

Love,
Mom and Dad
// Labels: grief, Holidays, Preslee, Utah
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10 comments:

  1. glendaDecember 17, 2015 at 7:58 AM

    Happy Birthday to Miss P! Peace and strength during this difficult season to your beautiful family!

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  2. Mom of an angel in heaven and on earthDecember 17, 2015 at 8:45 AM

    I, too, celebrate the life of my Nina. I am grateful for the time I had with her and think about her everyday. Her sister, Presley, talks about Nina and what her life was like here on earth and that she is our angel watching over us. Happy birthday to your sweet angel!!

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  3. KristiDecember 17, 2015 at 9:10 AM

    Happy Birthday Preslee!! Big Hugs Ashlee.

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  4. MelanieDecember 17, 2015 at 10:28 AM

    Ledger's request to get Preslee a doll touched my heart and has me in tears. I love the connection your boys have with their older sister. I lost ausonian during pregnancy, and had two older boys at the time. I now have a baby girl too and my boys always question if she'll know Jacob. I use your sweet children as an example of how thin the veil can be. Thank you for sharing your story.

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  5. Trisha LarsonDecember 17, 2015 at 11:30 AM

    Happy Birthday sweet Girl!!! Can't wait to meet you in Heaven :)

    Hugs,
    Trisha

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  6. -Danica-December 17, 2015 at 1:09 PM

    Happy Birthday Preslee!! I hope everyone is celebrating with you in heaven, and that you are right along side your family tonight as they walk on the temple grounds!

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  7. happyhartDecember 17, 2015 at 2:42 PM

    Does it ever feel easier as the days, weeks, and years roll by? Or just a different kind of ache?

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    1. AshleyJanuary 5, 2016 at 8:35 PM

      There's hard moments, but more happy moments. I no longer feel constantly sick to my stomach. and I've learned how to handle those difficult moments. So, it does get easier in a way.

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  8. Linsey JacksonDecember 21, 2015 at 10:59 AM

    As I was scrolling down this post, my 3 year old stopped and said, "aww who is that baby?" so I told him her name is Preslee, she's a pretty Angel! He just laughed and smile and said "Yeah she is an Angel, she's wearing white." It's amazing how observant and in tune toddlers can be. Happy birthday to your cute girl!! She sure has a contagious smile. :)

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  9. ReenieDecember 23, 2015 at 8:46 AM

    Awww ~ what Ledger said....sweet.

    Happy Birthday Preslee.

    Merry Christmas Ashley, Patrick & Boys!!

    xo

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Hi, we're the Sullengers! Life turned upside down for us in 2010 when we lost our daughter in an accidental drowning. Since then, we've documented our highs (life with all five of our kids) and our lows (struggles with grief) but amongst everthing we've experienced, we know as long as we hold on to one another we can get through anything that comes our way. Read More. . .

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