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Home Ashley Cannon Cruiz grief Her Family Ledger Preslee Summer vacation videos Yellow Gerber Daisies

Yellow Gerber Daisies

Grief blog

Here in UT, we live close to a beautiful cemetery. In front, there is a fountain that regularly catches Ledger’s eye as we drive by. Earlier this month, he repeatedly asked me if we could take a walk there. Day after day of him asking me, I finally said, “Okay buddy, lets go.”

Ledge jumped on his scooter, and I pushed Cannon and Cruiz and we took a walk on a busy road to get there. We stopped and let the boys appreciate the fountain up close, and then Ledger turned and and said,” Mom, let’s go see Preslee now.” I then understood why he wanted to visit. I knelt down to his level and explained that Preslee was buried in Idaho, and there are a lot of different cemeteries. (Death is such a confusing concept for kids) He was immediately heartbroken. I promised him we would visit soon.

The week of Preslee’s Angelversary, I suddenly became extremely homesick. And with Ledger still asking to visit his sister, Pat encouraged me to take the boys and visit. Pat stayed behind for work and I promised to be home on her actual Angelversary. My parents kept us busy, which I appreciate, but the highlight of our trip was definitely visiting the cemetery. If you live close to the cemetery, don’t take it for granted! I miss it.

Grief Blog

We stopped at a local craft store to buy new flowers fro Preslee. Ledger, who is obsessed with the color yellow right now, (Bumblebee, the transformer is yellow) immediately picked out a yellow Gerber Daisy and asked me if he could buy it for his sister. I know his request might seem small, but it was huge for me. He truly loves her. His connection with her blows me away sometimes. I could go on and on about all that he says about her, but I’ll save that for another time :)

  toddler drowning cemetery white headstone

After our visit, (and no pictures of the twins, they were banished to the car after repeatedly stealing the trinkets off surrounding headstones :) we thought we would give a kid friendly hike a try that my Grandma used to take me on when I was a kid. It’s super close to the cemetery, but to our surprise half of the hike was paved now (seriously?) but the boys were in sandals so it turned out okay.

cress creek child's hike
Ledger in the lead, Cruiz, and Cannon in the rear.
twins 
Left – Cruiz, Right- Cannon
cress creek

We didn’t make it to the top after Cannon sat down and refused to walk, when I bent down to pick him up, my camera whacked him in the nose and it instantly started bleeding. So I packed him down to the parking lot, and while I was cleaning him up, you can clearly see he was still pretty upset with me. Haha
Afterward, we enjoyed a picnic outside.

My dad was great sport and started a fire for a hot dog roast. The boys were thrilled!! When it was time to roast hot dogs, we found Cruiz in the corner with a cold hot dog in each hand, eating them as fast as he could! The one thing I miss about Idaho the most is the big back yards.

 hot dog roast

The next day, my parents had previously planned to take my uncle and his family boating, so we tagged along.

 Ririe Reservoire Ririe Reservoire
My uncle Greg was the man. He played with my kids, and even jumped in after Cannon when he fell/jumped into the lake by himself. Ledger kept jumping in, and would panic when he hit the cold water. Greg would crouch down and say, “Own the water, don’t let it own you. Be the Boss. When you are calm, the water is calm.” To my surprise it worked! Ledger still says it when he swims :) Towards the end of the night, Ledger jumped off the boat when nobody was looking, we all panicked for a minute, but he swam over to the dock all by himself. (Don’t worry, all the boys had a life jacket on the entire time)Ririe Reservoire child water skiis
Ledger waterskiing
Ririe Reservoire
The Wightman gang.
child water ski 
Ledger riding “Fancy.”
EZ ski EZ ski EZ ski Ririe Reservoire Ririe Reservoire orange boating flag
Cannon was obsessed with the flag.

tubingboating
Cruiz & Grandma 

We drove home on Thursday and made it home before Pat got off work.
And to my surprise, my sweet neighbor, who I’ve only known for two months, had a gift waiting for me. She handed me the most amazing vase with a poem and a picture of Preslee etched into it. Inside, there were yellow gerber daisies…Too perfect. The poem was written like it was from Preslee, and immediately had me in tears. For only knowing me about two months, I couldn’t believe the effort my neighbor put into it.
Thank you Kayli, we absolutely love it.
 
Thank you Patrick for encouraging us to go home, and thanks mom and dad for letting us visit.

// Labels: Ashley, Cannon, Cruiz, grief, Her Family, Ledger, Preslee, Summer, vacation, videos
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3 comments:

  1. Auntie EMJuly 28, 2015 at 8:18 AM

    Looks like a visit to Idahome is just what you needed. My perfect cemetery spot is in Sandy...Lake Hills Cemetery where my parents, husband, and our sweet Makenzie Webster are buried. I feel their spots are a sacred holy places where I can go and honor them and remember them. For some people, a cemetery is the last place they want to go but for me, it always brings me peace and hope. There they are side by side, waiting in Paradise for the rest of us to get there. They are taking care of each other and they are watching over all of us, just like your beautiful Preslee is doing for you, Patrick and your boys. I love the boat, hot dog, skiing, water family pictures. What a lovely trip you must have had...glad you got to go visit your family.

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  2. ReenieJuly 30, 2015 at 9:14 AM

    Ledg looks so big "skiing" That was so sweet of your neighbor. xo

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  3. BeckyAugust 11, 2015 at 8:29 AM

    so glad you had such a good trip home. and when I read what your neighbor had done for you, I thanked God that he has placed her in your life. My nephew did 34 years ago and it is truly that people remember our boy that gets our family through the anniversaries

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Hi, we're the Sullengers! Life turned upside down for us in 2010 when we lost our daughter in an accidental drowning. Since then, we've documented our highs (life with all five of our kids) and our lows (struggles with grief) but amongst everthing we've experienced, we know as long as we hold on to one another we can get through anything that comes our way. Read More. . .

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