Ohana Oasis (Part 1)

Where do I even start? About a month ago, Pat and I spent 8 days in Kauai, Hawaii. It was amazing. Unbelievable. And I still can’t believe that it happened.

Back in March, I received an e-mail from a sweet reader telling me about her best friend Heidi Low, who had unfortunately also lost her daughter, Allison, 11 years ago. In the e-mail, I learned Heidi had a dream to create a retreat for parents who have lost children. She hoped to provide a week of peace and restoration; a space for parents to begin the journey of rediscovering joy in life after the death of a child. So she moved from Boise, ID to Kauai and set out to raise funds to make her dream come true. And that is how the Ohana Oasis Foundation was created.

Photo Credit: Nancy Williams - www.postcardmoments.com

We were told everything would be donated, from plane tickets, lodging, food, etc. We wouldn’t have to spend a dime. My response? This is too good to be true! Though I was a little skeptical, I thought why not give it a shot? I e-mailed Heidi, she informed me she was already full for this retreat, (Bummer!) but we could send in an application for next years retreat. I sent one in immediately, knowing I would forget if I didn’t. Days later, I received an e-mail from Heidi stating that funds had unexpectedly worked out and she could accept one more couple. If we could commit in 24 hours, she would book our plane tickets. I called my mom up nearly screaming with excitement, and crossing my fingers she would watch our three crazy boys for eight days. She agreed, (She’s a saint I tell ya!) and I immediately responded to Heidi’s e-mail. Then I admit I full out panicked. It all happened so fast, I didn’t know what we committed to! (I hadn't looked into all the details yet)

Heidi sent us our confirmation for plane tickets and rental car, a link to the house we would be staying in. We were told there would be two other couples coming on the retreat, (They had known about the retreat for months). We would all have our own bedroom and private bathroom. She explained we would wake up, eat breakfast, have a grief related activity, and then the day would be ours to explore the island, we just needed to be back in time for dinner. Simple enough. Pat was pretty nervous about the whole ordeal, but we both knew it was too good of an experience to pass up.

April 30th – Let’s Fly!
Pat and I flew out of SLC, UT early Thursday morning. We knew there were two other couples that would be at the retreat, but we had no idea who they were. I spent time at the airport wondering if we were all on the same flight and looking around to see if I could tell who they were. Pat kept telling me to stop looking :) (No, my guess was not right, but the other couples did guess us). We had a layover in San Diego, and I was shocked when I heard, “Ashley?” as I walked out of the bathroom. There standing line was my younger cousin, Hailey, on her way to Oahu!

We arrived in Kauai and Heidi’s friend, Nancy, there waiting for us. She was also the photographer for the week, (Thank you for all the photos!) We picked up our luggage and rental cars (Each couple was given a rental car) and drove about 45 min to Anini on the North Shore. And were shocked with all the chickens running around the island.

Photo Credit: Nancy Williams - www.postcardmoments.com

Krisit, Quinn, Matt, Cindy, Ashley, Patrick

(More about the other couples coming in the next post)  

Photo Credit: Nancy Williams - www.postcardmoments.com

Heidi (The Founder) and Michelle (Our Chef for the week) were both there to greet us. We were shown to our rooms and then were all given couple massages. Are you kidding me? My mind was blown in the first hour after arriving in Kauai. 

Michelle and Heidi

That evening after dinner, we all sat down and told our stories, learning about the difficult path that all brought us here. It's crazy how quickly a connection forms when you both understand how hard grief is.

May 1st - Limahuli Garden
Our first activity we were taken to the Limahuli Garden for a tour. Our guide was fantastic! The rest of the day we had to ourselves to explore and met up for dinner at the house. Michelle cooked Amazing food!

 Photo Credit: Nancy Williams - www.postcardmoments.com

Photo Credit: Nancy Williams - www.postcardmoments.com

Heidi, Matt, Cindy, Our Tour Guide, Pat, Me, Quinn, Kristi
Photo Credit: Nancy Williams - www.postcardmoments.com

May 2nd – 9 Million Dollar Estate
After our first day of exploring, we came home to a house without water- due to a broken water pipe. Bummer! The agency the house was rented through moved us to a different house until the pipes could be fixed. We packed an overnight bag and our disappointment quickly faded when we arrived. It was a 9 million dollar estate!  We spent most of the next day lounging in the pool, watching dolphins in the ocean, and soaking up the sun.

Later that day we went with Quinn and Kristi to play miniature golf and took a bike ride to the Stone Dam. I lost the golf game and was the only person that didn’t get a hole in one…Next time! I loved everything about the bike ride and the beautiful garden surrounding the dam. It felt like the Garden of Eden :) I was the only one who wore a swimming suit, so I was the only one who swung on the rope swing just above the dam. This was one of my favorite activates along with Queen’s Bath.

   

May 3rd - Bonfire
We drove just a couple minutes away to Anini beach where we snorkeled and Heidi and her friend Scott, made a bonfire and cooked us fajitas. We spent the night watching the sunset, camped out on the beach talking, laughing, and even crying as we shared personal stories with one another. Later that evening, Scott gave each of the men a single orchid, he explained in Hawaiian culture when someone died, Hawaiians would climb up to the highest point they could reach and plant something in their loved one’s behalf. That night Scott gave each of the men an orchid start, and told us to make a little nest for them with moss and tie them to the tree we were standing below. We learned they will eventually grow into the tree and will continue to bloom for years to come. He explained that these little flowers represent our children and if we come back years from now, we’ll be able to to see the same orchid we planted. It was a special night. It’s hard to explain the feeling that was felt there that night. It was a super neat experience, the feeling there is difficult to describe in words.

Photo Credit: Nancy Williams - www.postcardmoments.com

  
May 4th – Helicopter Ride
Blue Hawaiian was amazingly generous and donated a helicopter tour for Patrick and I. Can you believe it? Before the tour Pat and I drove down to the South end of the island and visited Wimea Canyon or “ The Grand Canyon of the Pacific.” My pictures don’t do it justice. We grabbed lunch at a nice little restaurant, that had the best carrot cake I’d ever tasted. But the highlight of the day was definitely the helicopter ride! We could not get over how beautiful the island is, and it’s amazing that 80% of the island is uninhabited. When we pulled in front of the waterfall that Jurassic Park was filmed in front of, with the movie’s theme song playing on our headset, I literally squealed! Thank you Blue Hawaiian!

Wimea Canyon

Stay tuned for the second part of our trip. I can’t wait to share more about the other couples and their children, and what this retreat meant to Pat and I. It was so much more than just a vacation, both Pat and I learned so much. We are so grateful for everyone who made this possible, the goodness of people truly is astounding. 

Read Part 2 {Here}