July 16th

This post follows Momma Got a Big Ol’ Bump

July 16th marked three years since losing Preslee. Three years, can you believe it? It seems like forever ago we had her here in our arms, and in many ways, the accident seems like it was just yesterday. Preslee has now been gone twice as long as we had her here with us. The whole thing is sometimes hard to take in.

Pat and I discussed the 16th was the only day we didn’t want the twins to arrive. We realize it will always be a hard day, a difficult reminder of who is missing in our family, and we felt that the twins deserved a day that they didn’t always have their parents upset, or crying on each Birthday. 

This year, on the 16th, I was really sick, contractions were constant, I was nauseous and had a fever. When my friend Candee took Ledger for the afternoon, I was extremely grateful. I tried to sleep, but felt guilty for not making it to the cemetery. Pat stopped by after work and left some flowers, and we were so grateful to hear others like my aunts and parents had stopped by themselves. Thank you to those who took the time to remember Preslee, sent messages and notes, it made a hard day a little easier.

Later that night I could feel changes taking place and I knew the babies were coming. We met Dr. C at the hospital, he checked me once again and said, I had made progress, but still not quite enough. I left frustrated, knowing it would be soon, it was just a bad day all around. My parents took Ledger for the night, and said get some sleep. We luckily escaped having the boys that night. I was happy, but also extremely miserable, that I cried the whole way home. I had too many emotions running through my big pregnant body that I was glad that day was coming to an end.