Thursday night, we made a quick trip to UT.
We dropped Ledger off at my parents house, (first time I've left him over night) and drove to Bountiful to stay at my brother's house.
Friday morning we attended Tyler Smith's funeral.
What an amazing person Tyler is, our hearts continue to ache for his family.
As we walked out of the church, we were each handed a green balloon. It was an incredible sight to watch hundreds of balloons float into the sky in behalf of Tyler.
My mind began racing, about Tyler, about Preslee, and about life in general.
And then about John 9:1-3
And then about John 9:1-3
1 And as Jesus passed by, he saw a man which was blind from his birth.
2 And his disciples asked him, saying, Master, who did sin, this man, or his parents, that he was born blind?
3 Jesus answered, Neither hath this man sinned, nor his parents: but that the works of God should be made manifest in him.
As I looked at those balloons, I realized the third verse was true in Tyler's life, each one of those balloons represented a person Tyler had influenced for the better.
The third verse also reminded me that losing Preslee isn't a punishment, though it often feels that way. At that moment I understood that losing Preslee is a part of something much bigger than just Patrick and I.
The third verse also reminded me that losing Preslee isn't a punishment, though it often feels that way. At that moment I understood that losing Preslee is a part of something much bigger than just Patrick and I.
Its His plan.
Then today at the cemetery, nearly two years after Preslee's own funeral, I had to remind myself that I really was staring at my daughter's headstone, that I really am her mom, and now she really is gone. I kept repeating to myself, "I still can do hard things."
And then as I was holding Ledger, pointing at his sister's headstone, and saying the word "Preslee" over and over again, I was reminded again of that bigger plan. At that moment, I once again understood that if Pat and I allow it, "the works of God should be made manifest" in our own family. I realized that Ledger will live a totally different life because of what his older sister sacrificed to teach his parents.
His life will be a better one.
And then I couldn't help but feel gratitude.
We love you Preslee.
You were certainly shown some love this weekend.
Thank you to all who visited the cemetery in behalf of miss Preslee.
And also to Caitlin who made our flower arrangement.
All of you brought us to tears.
You were certainly shown some love this weekend.
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Thank you to all who visited the cemetery in behalf of miss Preslee.
And also to Caitlin who made our flower arrangement.
All of you brought us to tears.
Your husband looks so happy in these pics... Im so glad you have these verses to refer to.Yes you can do and still do HARD things. Sledge Hammer is a lucky lil fella!!! May you continue to follow in HIs grace and teach your son and other children the Lords love!! <3 <3
ReplyDeleteToday was really a poignant day for so many who have lost so much. Understanding God's plan is difficult even if we understand the plan of Salvation. But in the end, each person, each spirit, and certainly for Preslee, it is their plan - between them and God. I'm sure losing her was the hardest thing you and your family have had to endure. But....when it is all said and done, you will see her again. Then....the perfect day, it will all be worth it. I had a wonderful day with my grandson and even though he will not see his grandpa, my Rich, in this life, there is so much more to come in the life hereafter. Until then, you will continue to cherish the time you had with your Preslee, come to the realization of all you learned by being her mother, and the wonderful knowledge that you will see her again and that she is a perfect wonderful beautiful girl and always will be. My thoughts are with you today. Your son is one lucky little boy to have such wonderful loving parents and a good family who will teach him much about life and about his big sister. Take care. EM from SLC Utah
ReplyDeleteYou are an incredible writer Ashley. This post made me cry. You and Pat really are such strong, incredible people. Those two kiddo's are lucky to call you mom and dad.
ReplyDeleteSending thoughts and prayers your way, you truly have taught me so much and I really appreciate it.
ReplyDeleteI wondered if you were heading to Tyler's Funeral. I wish I could have made it.
ReplyDeleteYou are incredible Ashley and we all know you can do hard things. I love that motto and love that Tyler's family has now taken that on because of you. What an example you are!
I am glad you went to Tyler's funeral, I am sure it meant so much to his parents. I also love that scripture and your interpretation of it. It reminds me of Pres Eyring's talk at this last conference, about praying for mountains to climb and the blessings that come from those really hard trials. You have learned so much from this trial and are truly being blessed and can look at it with gratitude - that is an incredible thing!
ReplyDeleteYou are an amazing person. I love reading your blog and learning from you. Thanks. I think I post the same comment over and over but it is true!
ReplyDeleteThis is beautiful. Your Preslee has touched my life. Thank you for sharing your journey and love. Sending you warm thoughts always!
ReplyDeleteWow! You leave me speechless. That was such a beautiful post. Thank you for those inspiring words. We love u!! - T and Soy
ReplyDeleteOh Ashley.. You are such an amazing woman and I'm so happy that you are once again a mommy. He is adorable! I didn't realize how much time had gone by since I attended Preslees funeral. It really does show you how fleeting life is... and awesome to see how much you really cherish the moments.
ReplyDeleteThis made me smile. What a great path you and your family are on! God is good! Praying for you always!
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