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Home Ashley grief The accident Tiger's Blood

Tiger's Blood

Ever since we stepped off the plane from Cancun it's been cold. Autumn has arrived and I can't wait for the leaves on our big walnut tree to change colors.

For me, autumn means two things. Starting school (this Thursday)and saying goodbye to sno cones. Even though I eat very few during the summer, (after spending 6 summers inside a small shack I've eaten enough to last me a life time) I tend to crave them all winter long. As I closed up shop today, I made one more sno cone to help get me through the next eight months - Tiger's Blood. I stood back and took a long look at my shack. After I critiqued what I could to do to fix it up next year, I thought back to the highlights for the shack this summer-


Summer didn't officially arrive here in Idaho until the very end of June. We had a slow start. Nobody wants to buy sno cones when it's snowing outside... So we spent the first month and a half in winter clothes and worked with numb fingers. :)

I bought an expensive umbrella for the table and planted flowers. We were able to keep them alive! Good job girls.

Getting hit on by the sophomore boys... Nobody seems to believe that I'm 22. Sometimes I'm not quite sure how to take it. :)

Waking up to a call from the Rigby Police station in the middle of the night. We had some punks break all the windows. They stole my week old cash register and some supplies. Luckily they didn't get any money. We had to close until we could get the windows fixed. We never did catch the scoundrels.


Taking Pres there for walks. She was born a Sno Shacker. When I was pregnant she would kick to the rhythm of my foot tapping the pedal. I started her off with plain ice and gradually added flavor. She loved cotton candy. Once she finished the ice she'd start eating the cup.

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Then the accident happened. It took about everyone we knew to keep the shack running, but they did it. We are so very grateful. Nobody knew how much work goes into a little Sno shack :)

When I came back I thought working would be great. I hoped it would keep me busy. That lasted about a week and I just couldn't do it anymore. Luckily I hired some of Rigby's finest and my girls stepped up and took over.

Thank you Rigby for putting up with the chaos. Thank you for all the donations you so willingly gave us. There were days when the donations almost matched the deposit. Intermountain Paper Company donated hundreds and hundreds of cups to us. The owner Mark is a great guy. I know people traveled from all over to help support us. We feel so lucky to call South Eastern Idaho our home.

See you all next year, a Tiger's Blood will be waiting.


P.S. I am so excited that we made it through the whole season before the construction closed our front down!
// Labels: Ashley, grief, The accident
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23 comments:

  1. KendraSeptember 7, 2010 at 9:41 AM

    Hey Ash -

    I was thinking about your blog last night and how it is traveling all over the world and then I remembered a little tool that Google has that will translate your blog to several different languages. I don't know if you are interested in putting it on your blog but in case you are here is the link:

    http://www.google.com/ig/adde?synd=open&source=ggyp&moduleurl=www.google.com/ig/modules/translatemypage.xml

    Loved seeing a link to your blog on NieNie..... :)

    You are definitely among the noble and great ones that were meant to inspire so many people. Thanks for being my example.

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  2. The MorgansSeptember 7, 2010 at 10:52 AM

    I live in Idaho Falls, and my sister who lives in Rexburg told me about you. Her old testament teacher is in your ward. I think about you guys a lot even though I don't know you. I know that you will be with Preslee again someday. Stay strong.

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  3. Parker FamilySeptember 7, 2010 at 11:23 AM

    I am a complete stranger to you, seems like you get quite a few of those on here :) But I just had to tell you how much you and your husbands strength has strengthened me! Your precious Preslee has touched me and so many others so deeply, thank you for sharing your special story to all of us!

    6 months ago, I lost my sweet angel baby JAYCEE at birth. I can't tell you how hard that was! I still have my days that I struggle, but I am finding more and more peace as the days go on. I found that reading novels helped me grieve. Not novels that were death related or had anything to do with losing a child(I have several books on that, that friends/family have given me in the last 6 months, I still can't read them, maybe someday I will be able to, maybe not :), but spiritual uplifting novels. As I was reading your precious Preslee's story, one in particular came to mind, and I feel inspired to tell you about it. This novel was recommended casually to me right after my baby's funeral, and 2 days later I found myself reading it non stop. I think that special friend was inspired to tell me about this book, just as I feel so ispired to tell you about it. I have recommended this book to several others and it seems everyone gets a different message from it. If you don't mind, I am going to share the message I got from it, and it might help you and your husband through these hard days that lie ahead for you. In this special book it goes through our time up in heaven before we were blessed to visit our Earthly home (premortal life)...goes through all that had happened up there, including the war up heaven that happened, a very special part of this book focuses on our H. Mother and how hard it was for her to loose her precious children to the other side....I was very very touched by reading about all of that, hope it touches you too. But what I got the most out of this book is what we were told up in Heaven by our Brother, The Savior, and our Heavenly Father. Before we were sent to Earth, we were told and shown our trials that we were going to go through here on Earth, and that we accepted them before even coming to Earth, we had a glimpse of pain, of suffering, of our very own trials and tribulations that we were going to encounter and we accepted them and knew that we could overcome them by staying close to the Gospel and the Plan. Your precious Preslee, my sweet angel Jaycee knew that they were going to go through what they did, and still accepted this before coming down to Earth with us. You, your husband, me, my husband we all knew what we were going to get tested with, and we STILL ACCEPTED IT ALL. By reading this, I can't tell you how much it helped me grieve with losing my baby. It gave me the strength to know that this is one of those 'trials' that I am going to encounter, and that I can and will stay strong to the Gospel, and make it back to my home up in Heaven and make it back to my special Angel. This short life here on Earth is just a test from our Heavenly Father, to see if we can stay strong through all of trials and make it back to our Heavenly Family, who are so cheering us on. This book has touched me so much, I hope that you find peace with it too. Even for our husbands, trust me, it is hard to get my husband to sit down and read a book, but this one is a definite book I am going to make him read, and read again and again! I hope and pray you and your husband can get the peace that I got from reading this book.

    (continued on next comment)

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  4. Parker FamilySeptember 7, 2010 at 11:24 AM

    Just a quick side note for you, IT IS OKAY TO CRY!! Please remember this! Cry for pain, sorrow, grief; but also cry for happiness too. The most special times for me and my husband are the times we cry together, and it isn't always sad cries either, it is becoming more of happy cries. (Hope that makes sense :) We are joined in a group, that we never thought or wanted to join and be apart of (and we would never wish this on anyone...EVER), just know that we are all out here praying for you and your husband, and we love you! We pray that you will get the peace that we all need!

    I tell my 6 year old and 4 year old that we are so blessed to have our special sister/daughter as our very own GUARDIAN ANGEL. My sweet Jaycee, your precious Preslee; are with us always, cheering us on! Stay strong, and know that you have many many brothers and sisters in Zion cheering you on! We all love you, and pray for you always!
    Michelle
    PS The book is calld 'The Brothers' and is written by Chris Stewart (and this is just a recommendation to a friend, I am not advertising for this book in any way)
    Thank you for your special story!

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  5. Reid, Megan, Jackson and AivaSeptember 7, 2010 at 11:37 AM

    You are such an inspiration to anyone. I don't know you and just saw your blog on nienie and I just had to tell you that you make me want to be a better person and mother. I will give my kids an extra hug for you and do my best to cherish the moments with them.

    Thank you for your sharing your spirit.

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  6. EricaSeptember 7, 2010 at 12:18 PM

    I found your blog through NieNie. I'm so happy I did. The spirit of your story just radiates off the screen. You have brought me to tears so many times, and seeing the strength you two have is AMAZING! If I lived closer I would be there getting me a Tigers Blood today. Sounds amazing. Maybe next summer I'll head up that way and stop in to say hi. Love you guys to pieces and you'll forever be in my prayers. *hugs*

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  7. tammySeptember 7, 2010 at 1:24 PM

    Thank you for sharing your story. You have inspired me to be better at life and make better decisions for my future and for my family. And I will PLAY a lot more. Thank you, thank you.
    Love to you.

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  8. Whitney HarrisSeptember 7, 2010 at 2:42 PM

    What a bitter sweet post. I was up at the cabin this weekend and I had to put pants and a long sleeve shirt on. I am not ready for fall quite yet. Good luck with school. I went to Charlie St. Cloud with my mom and Rach this weekend and all I could think of the whole time was you. We are always thinking of you. Hope to see you soon.

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  9. JeNnASeptember 7, 2010 at 3:41 PM

    Random thought.... I never knew you were so talented at writing! :) Sounds like your little shack has gone through a lot of trials.... Good luck with school this thursday. Ashley.... sometime we need to talk! I sure love ya! I still think about you and Patrick alllll the time!
    Much Love,
    Jenna

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  10. AnonymousSeptember 7, 2010 at 7:51 PM

    I am so sad to see the closed sign up in the little shack. It is a favorite place of mine to go. And...tiger's blood is also my favorite! Best of luck in school and thank you for sharing your story. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Patrick EVERYDAY!

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  11. AnonymousSeptember 7, 2010 at 8:39 PM

    Ash-it must run in the family. I usually get plain ice, but if I'm being daring, I always get Tiger's Blood, and if I am really daring, I add cream. Thanks for this week end. You are amazing. Love, aunt Nic

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  12. T.Walker familySeptember 7, 2010 at 8:45 PM

    Pat & Ashley,
    We are so glad you both got a chance to get away and find a little peace and a minute to smile. It was good to see those smiles we love. I know you will have good days and hard days. Our wish is with time and our Heavenly Father's "tender mercies," that is a favorite talk of mine too, anyway our wish is that the good out weigh the hard. I know this will happen, my sister drown when she was 8. My oldest sister also lost her first born son @ 4 months. Through all of these trials I have witnessed a growth in these two women and have heard first person accounts how the Lord sends those tender mercies for countless years to come. May He continue to bless you and your families. Thank that great aunt & uncle for us too. They have blessed our lives greatly also. Much love from all of us Walker's

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  13. StaceeSeptember 7, 2010 at 8:54 PM

    Unfortunately, sometimes we don't realize what we are made of until we suffer. I lost my brother a few years ago to cancer and my family members have all handled it in different ways. Some have clung to the Lord and appreciated the "tender mercies" you have so beautifully mentioned. Others have become bitter and lost. Thank you for sharing your sweet testimonies. Your words will bless many lives.

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  14. AnonymousSeptember 7, 2010 at 10:05 PM

    Dear Ashley, I have been following your blog since a friend of mine told me about Preslee. I hadn't lookied at it for a while, but my mom & I were talking about you today & I wanted to see how you were doing. I told myself I wouldn't cry this time before I read your blog, but here I sit with tears running down my face. My heart breaks for you. I couldn't handle going through what you are going through. I can't even imagine it. I just want you to know that you & your husband inspire me to be a better parent & a better person. I think I sometimes take life for granted & also taking being a mommy for granted. I am a single mother of 3 & it can be stressful. I need to stop feeling so overwhelmed & just stop & appreciate what I have because life is precious & fragile & you never know if the last time you hold your baby could be the last. You are amazing & I'm glad that you & Pat have each other. You have something really special. Keep smiling. You are an ispiration to people you don't even know :)

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  15. AnonymousSeptember 7, 2010 at 10:17 PM

    This comment has been removed by the author.

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  16. AnonymousSeptember 7, 2010 at 10:21 PM

    I visited your blog for the first time today and couldn't help but cry. I felt so close to you and your little girl. I have a 1 year old son and just reading about what happened, it made me tear up. What if that happened to me? I honestly don't know what I would do. I think you are an amazing person!

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  17. Chelsea NicoleSeptember 7, 2010 at 10:43 PM

    See ya till next year sno-shack... Keep strong in the crazy school life Pat and Ash and if that doesn't keep you busy I'll be sure to pick up some kind of fun mhh activity and make sure it consumes you but really I'm sure school will be enough ha. Love you guys!

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  18. TiffanySeptember 8, 2010 at 3:50 PM

    Ashley,
    I'm so sorry for your loss. My family is going through a similar situation with my niece, Tammy. On Friday she suffered severe heat stroke and she is at primary Childrens fighting for her life.

    I get all the updates to put on my blog and they send people there who ask how she is doing and how they can help, so they can just focus on their 5 month old baby.

    Maybe you could give some advice to my sister in law about how you coped. She reads all the comments on my blog.
    Thanks

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  19. AnonymousSeptember 8, 2010 at 11:07 PM

    I am always thinking of you and loving you and praying for you.

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  20. UnknownSeptember 9, 2010 at 2:21 AM

    Your story of steadfast faith and submission to God's will in a time of such unspeakable loss and grief has touched me so deeply.
    I pray for you continuously asking for comfort for you and your husband.
    Sending so much heartfelt love to both of you.

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  21. melissaSeptember 9, 2010 at 11:12 AM

    Ashley:

    I found your blog from NieNie. I've had a good cry reading your story. I live in England, but I grew up in Rexburg. I think we might actually be related. My great-grandfather was Frank Siddoway. Any relation of yours? I'll pray for you and your family. God bless you...

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  22. JENNIE!September 9, 2010 at 12:22 PM

    What an inspiration of strength and faith you are. You and your sweet family is in my prayers.

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  23. KimberleeSeptember 10, 2010 at 3:31 PM

    You don't know me..I found you through Nie's blog. I live in AZ.I have read many many of your posts and have felt such grief over your loss. Your testimony however has lifted my spirit and made me amazed. I have spent more time with my kids this week after reading your posts...said "yes" when they have said come play with me. I am truly amazed at the person you are. I know You WILL continue to be blessed, both spiritually and with physical more children. I struggled with infertility for 9 years and have now been blessed with 3 amazing adoption experinces. I love my three angels so much. Heavenly Father doesn't give us things we can't handle. He must think a lot of you and your husband to allow you to have this trial. Families are forever...I know that and you will have your beautiful angel again someday, and it will be oh so sweet!You have been in my prayers this week, and your story has had a profound effect on my heart.

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Hi, we're the Sullengers! Life turned upside down for us in 2010 when we lost our daughter in an accidental drowning. Since then, we've documented our highs (life with all five of our kids) and our lows (struggles with grief) but amongst everthing we've experienced, we know as long as we hold on to one another we can get through anything that comes our way. Read More. . .

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